When did we empty words of their meaning?
When did words lose value? When did they become as worthless as Chinese toys – to be used and thrown away quickly? To be replaced by other fresh meaningless words like a new phone, a new car, a new body.
Have I been living in some strange world in my head that never existed?
When did we start lying? When did we start forming untrue words in our mouth that we push out with confident tongues?
I’ve never seen the world this way. So dark. So full of shadows. Where nothing and no one is real anymore. Merely shadows that slip in and out to placate, to whisper sweet nothings, to weep false tears, to echo hollow words. When did everything become so shrouded with secrets?
Why have I never been wary? Why did I hold every thing for what it appears? Why didn’t I protect myself?
When did deceit become casual? Casual. Casual sex, casual friendships, casual relationships, casual lies. Casual Structures. When did we let deceit engulf us in it’s voluptuous embrace of Casuality?
When did it settle into our bones, like hardened marrow?
When did we start tainting words? Was it when the devil whispered in Eve’s ear? Did it start all the way back then? When did we start having hidden motives for what we say to others? When did we start talking in riddles and holding conversations to lead others in directions away and toward? A labyrinth of lost words and promise leading from one corridor into the next until you don’t know when the passage begins or ends.
When did we start becoming so incredibly selfish? When did we stop looking at others and start looking at only ourselves?
When did we start throwing away respect for fellow human beings? Forgetting that they feel, that they hurt, that they bleed just as you.
Just as you
When did we start using them, abusing them, stripping them of self confidence? When did we start placing people in middle spaces and keeping them there? When did we learn that smiles could become pockets in which we stitch secrets?
When did we dare to think our darkness was impenetrable?
When did we let our weakness overcome our lives? When did we stop trying? To be better. To be stronger. To withstand. To be true. When?
When did we empty out mouths of meaning? When did we start bleeding out our humanity? When did we forget.
How to be real.
Words must be meant. Words must find meaning in this world again in this increasingly meaningless world. Words must form in the mouth with respect and love and come from inside the gut, from inside a place of truth and sincerity. Words must form with patience and understanding. And most of all integrity.
Words are real.
Where are all the real people in the world?
I must find this world I’ve lost.
To survive here,